The incident with the caffeine rocket and the spanish zombies...

... and other stories...
First of all, apologies for not posting lately.

The Caffeine rocket
Its 4.30am. I'm barely awake. I've been tossing and turning the whole night, and I can't sleep.
My body is tired, but my mind just can't seem to settle down and shut up.
Its like I've got a lil Jiminy Cricket, just constantly yakking into my ear.
Oh well. Do something. Might as well. I sure ain't sleeping for the rest of the morning.
And so I get up from the compost heap that is my bed, a bit too fast, and the blood rushes to my head. I shake it off but I just make it worse.
My eyes feel like they've been glued shut, and I'm having difficulty opening them. I blindly make my way to the kitchen, try and make something to wake me up.
Mug. Hot water. Bread.
Feels like I'm missing something.
And then I realise I forgot to grab the 3 in 1 instant coffee.
I stumble into the pantry and grab the 3 in 1.
Due to severe retardedness, I don't manage to rip apart the seal, and instead, have to spend extra time hunting for a pair of scissors.
While I am doing this, I begin to recall and episode of Mr. Bean rushing to work.
He's obviously late, and somehow manages to drink his coffee by mixing all the contents in his mouth.
I don't think.
Once its open, I tip the contents of the sachet into my mouth.
Hilarity ensues. The taste is indescribable. My face is just scrunched up, an explosion of bitterness shattering my tongue.
I don't think.
I grab the mug and down whatevers init, hoping to get rid of the bittersweet bittersweetness.
Freshly boiled water makes its way into me. I scream. And I mean really, really scream.
As in "OMG I JUST DOWNED FRICKIN BOILING WATER AAAAAAAAA SOMEONE OH SHITE ITS SO HOT AAAAHAAA" scream.
And as I scream, some of it makes it way up my nose. You know how it is.
I run to the fridge and grab the milk, tear the carton, and down half a litre.
I feel like I've melted my insides, and froze them again. I feel mangled.
I can't believe I even trusted Mr. Bean in the first place.
Damn you Bean. Damn you.

Spanish zombies...
...don't run that fast. They more or less just lumber around.
"Te voy matar!"
"Matenlo!"
Which pretty much means "I'm going to kill you!" and "Kill him!" in Spanish. Meh, no biggie.
I pick up the Punisher, some kind of weird semi-auto, given to me by an eccentric merchant I met just a while ago. I load it up, cock it, and I'm ready.
The first one comes, bearded and raggedy, reeking of death. I wonder if he's dead already.
I aim at his head, and bang. He's staggering, clutching his left eye, but moments later, recovers, and starts slowly making his way towards me again, arms outstretched.
His left eye is dangling by the nerve endings.
I shoot at his head again, and somehow, his head explodes. His body crashes to the ground.
But while all this is happening, I fail to realise that a whole crowd of maybe 10,15 of them have crowded around me.
"Te voy a romper en pedazos!" - "I'm going to break you into pieces"
"Muere! Muere!" - "Die! Die!"
Ok, time for the big guns.
I bring out the single barrel pump action shotgun. I load a couple of shells in and I blast away.
And they all pretty much fly 10 feet away from where they were.
I suddenly hear his splattering noise, this little explosion, as if someones gut just exploded.
But I ignore this, and instead, aim at the chainsaw wielding maniac in front of me, who pretty much looks down the barrel of my shotgun as I pull the trigger. Half of his face is gone, and he's blown back, but still standing, albeit jst barely.
And then I am stabbed from behind. I jump from the pain, and am momentarily distracted by the rabid woman who has just plunged her kitchen knife into my back.
The backstabber gets one in the kneecaps, and then one in the face, just for that.
And then, all I see is the blade of a chainsaw, and a lot of blood. My blood. It only takes about 2 seconds to fully decapitate me.
My body slumps to the ground, head resting beside, Mr. Chainsaw roaring in victory.
Everything is dark now.






And thus was the experience of my first death in Resident Evil 4.
Honestly, its such a good game. If any of you out there have a PS2 or a Gamecube, buy it.
If any of you out there who don't have a PS2 or a Gamecube, buy either one, and then buy Resident Evil 4.

Intelligent conversations, as of late

(Ashlyne, Angela Lai, Me)
Angela: Hey (to me), you're born in '87, thats the year of the Rabbit right (refer to Zodiac)?
Ashlyne: (listening in) Haha, woof woof!
Me: ... *sigh*

(Mathu, Wei Fei, Me)
Mathu: So yeah, Justins lactose intolerant
Me: Which means basically he can't take anything that has milk in it, like milk from a cow-
Wei Fei: Wait, does that mean he can't eat cow?
Mathu, Me: *slaps face in unison*

Lastly...

The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Nifenegger

Loosely based on Homer's Odyssey, it centers on a relationship between Clare Abshire and Henry DeTamble, the latter with a time-travelling gene that enables him to leapfrog into different periods of time in different places. This 'ability' cannot be controlled, and Henry cannot choose when and where to go.
But what do you do when you meet the love of your life when you are 6? And he's 36?
(Henry is 36, time travels back to the past, and meets a 6 year old Clare, who has just met her future husband from a different time. In real time, which is Clares present, Henry is only 8 years older than her, but the 36 year old Henry is from a different time)
And so, Henry disappears from his present time, and appears either in the future or the past, completely naked and bare. He has to rely on thieving, fighting, hiding, and for the most part, running, to keep himself alive.
Imagine, you're having your lunch, just like any other day, on a bright sunny summer morning. The sun is warm on your skin, and as you look up, you're suddenly overwhelmed by a force, and your ears are ringing, and you're thinking 'Whats going on?' and suddenly *poof*, you're stark naked in the middle of a deserted road, on a cold a winter night.
You look around, but the only thing illuminating the streets is the light from the streetlamps. You are scared, you are cold. Maybe this isnt real. Maybe its all just a dream.
But its not. You're Henry DeTamble. You've dealt with this for most of your life.
Until the day you die. Yes, you know the future, since you have, of course, traveled to it before.
But can you change it? Can you change the future of yourself?
Henry's mother died in a car accident when he was a small boy. He often goes back in time to see her, although all he can do is watch from a distance. At the same time, he's also traveled back too often to the fateful day that took his mother from his life. He can't change the future. His mother has to die. And he can't do a thing about it.

I really don't want to write anymore about the book, for fear of spoiling too much.
But seriously, if anyone has the time, read it. Theres so many parts to it where its just raw, straight emotion.
This book will make you glow, this book will make you laugh, and this book will make you cry.
Its a good book. Go get it now. Do it. Do it.


Oh not because happiness exists,
That too-hasty profit snatched from approaching loss.
But because truly being here is so much; because everything here apparently needs us, this fleeting world, which,
in some strange way keeps calling to us. Us, the most fleeting of all.

...Ah, but what can we take along
into that other realm? Not the art of looking,
Which is learned so slowly, and that nothing that happended here. Nothing
The sufferings, then. And above all, the heaviness,
and the long experience of love, -just what is wholly
unsayable

-from The ninth Duino Elegy,
Rainer Maria Rilke,
Translated by Stephen Mitchell